Wednesday, December 8, 2010

How To FORGIVE

by Encouragement Speaker Derrick Hayes

Do you know someone that is holding a grudge? Are you the one that is feeling let down?

It is hard to move to from one point to another when you are bitter. This article is help us all find ways to forgive. A breakthrough is on the way.

Before we lose valuable friendship let’s fact check, open our mouths, respect each other, give time, initiate conversation, visit if possible and engage our relationships.

(F) Fact check. Find out what really happened and if you should even be mad. I was recently watching Oprah where the world witnessed that Whoopi and Oprah did not talk for years because they both felt neither one liked the other. He said She said is what can keep a relationship dead. No matter how much it hurts seek the truth.

(O) Open your mouth. If you’re wrong find a way to express it through email, call or in person. Recently my daughter something I said the wrong way. I saw how it bothered her so I called her and apologized to explain what my intentions were. After she heard my side we were able to move on.

(R) Respect their wishes. After you apologize they may not want to be bothered. You have to understand that what you took years to build can be destroyed in a few seconds. Love and war are never fair. Take mental notes on how they want to be treated and respect their decision.

(G) Give it time. Mending broken fences can take a day, week, year or lifetime. Ask if you can call them in a few days or check back with them in a few weeks. If it is meant to be it will be. Sometimes we have to take our lives off rush avenue and keep our behinds on hush avenue.

(I) Initiate next conversation. If you get the opportunity to stay in touch by all means stay in touch. You never know who you can help and who can help you. Friends are hard to find. Reach out by letter, card or place a call to follow up with them and see if and how you all can keep the communication door open.

(V) Visit if allowed. There is no better moment of clarity then to see the look in someone’s eyes. You can hide emotions on the phone but in person you will know immediately if you are truly wanted. Studies will suggest that over 90% of all communication is nonverbal.

(E) Engage the relationship. If you get the chance the chance to get back in the game make sure you play ball. Remember this, if you don’t do it somebody else will. Anyone can sit on the couch and say ouch. Enjoy your city and find things that your friend, spouse, associate or lover can do together.

Children as well as adults are loosing relationships because we won’t FORGIVE. There are circumstances where have to move on. Hang in there if you can. Remember we are supposed to be here for each other.

How To Support Derrick Hayes:

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-Hire Derrick Hayes to speak at http://www.derrickhayes.com/professional-development/
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